Why do so many leaders struggle to give honest feedback to their employees? Is it blind optimism that employees will figure things out on their own? Fear of demoralizing an otherwise solid performer? A dislike of confrontation? Or is it simply that many leaders don’t know how to do it effectively?

Whatever the reason, it’s a shame. Employees desperately want feedback—they see it as a sign that their leaders care and are invested in their growth. Moreover, they certainly want to do better and often only wish they knew how.  Consistent feedback is also the key to systematically improving an organization’s performance and morale. The good news? A few simple steps can turn this often-dreaded task into a routine and highly impactful practice.

Step 1: What to Say

Before saying a word, identify the specific, actionable area for improvement and consider what steps should be taken to address the issue.  No one benefits from vague criticism or an overwhelming list of flaws. Similarly, there is little value to criticism without specific guidance on how to improve. In short, feedback works best when that is insightful, clear, concise, and actionable.

Compare these two statements:

• “You didn’t handle yourself well in the meeting.”
• “You would be more effective if you listened carefully to the other speakers,  avoided interrupting, and simplified your comments to have the greatest impact.”

The second version gives the employee something concrete to work on, making it far more useful.

Step 2: When to Say It

Feedback typically falls into two categories: periodic performance reviews and ongoing, real-time feedback. While periodic reviews are extremely important, real-time feedback is often more effective. It is immediate, relevant, and less anxiety-provoking.

Consider the example above—delivering feedback right after the meeting, when the details are fresh, has far more impact than waiting months for a formal review, when not only is the event in question dulled by the passage, but there are missed opportunities to improve.  Real-time feedback also feels more like coaching from a trusted mentor rather than a judgment tied to compensation or ratings.

To borrow and reframe an old saying: Feedback is a dish best served warm.

Ongoing feedback also enhances the value of periodic reviews by lowering the anxiety level since nothing you share with the employee is new or shocking. Further, it is an opportunity to evaluate the effectiveness of that earlier feedback, discuss what has worked, and fine-tune the tools to improve performance.  Lastly, as periodic reviews frequently are the basis for ratings and compensation, ongoing feedback is an important foundation both for your position and confidence to express it.

Step 3: How to Say It

One common approach is the “feedback sandwich,” where constructive feedback is placed between positive comments.

Consider the following approach:

• Positive Open: “You did a fine job engaging with the team and hearing them out.”
• Feedback: “I suggest the next time you offer input, make your point more concisely so you don’t lose your audience.”
• Positive Close: “Real progress to date, and I’m confident of your continued improvement.”

One note of caution is that this method works as long as the “improvement message” doesn’t get buried in an attempt to “soften the blow” or avoid perceived hurt feelings.

More important than structure, however, is trust and clarity. The goal is for employees to walk away thinking:

• My boss cares about me.
• I understand the issue.
• I understand what I need to do.
• I can do this.

Step 4: Handling Reactions

Even in the best of circumstances, feedback conversations can go sideways. Employees may react with denial, defensiveness, or even tears. In these moments, the best response is to listen with empathy, reflect on whether there is any new information to alter your views while staying appropriately firm and committed to the message.  In other words, avoid getting distracted or bogged down in an emotional response to valid feedback;  keep your eye on the goal, trust, and clarity.

The Bottom Line

Honest, candid feedback is not just a tool for improvement—it’s a powerful way to build trust, strengthen relationships, and elevate both individual and organizational performance.